Today the victim mentality stops

Today I take total responsibility for my life. With the responsibility I also take control. I accept that I have long subscribed to a victim mentality. I have blamed other people and other factors for my issues. And today, actually, yesterday, I stopped.

The next step is to forgive myself for the years of this. Right now I'm rehashing past indulgences to that mentality. Times when I was dishonest, so very dishonest, all in order to manipulate people. Times when I was selfish and discompassionate. Times when I was not the man I want to be, or saw myself as.

I can accept that there were times when I really was a victim of a negative environment. But I haven't been there for a long time. And yet I have stayed within this pattern. It was my form of protection. I don't need it any more. It's time to thank it and to let it go.

This is the most powerful thing I have ever done. As with all habits, it's going to take some time to kick. But today, I start.

Big Purchase: Camera

I bought a new camera yesterday, and I love love love it. I had been done over in New York with a camera purchase a few years back, so it was good to get what I want this time! I have loads of creative control with this one, and am very happy..

Lots of fun! Oh and work too. I need it to get some new work done...

I know I'm not alone

Tonight, thanks to my good mates, Peta and Robbie (and soon to be born, Billie) , I went to see Michael Franti perform at the Forum. Wow. The energy in the room was amazing. Not only was there a sense of collective activism, for the first time in a while, I really felt that there was hope. Hope that we can achieve a greater understanding of each other. As Franti put it (and I am paraphrasing here) the right of freedom of speech is only worthwhile if we exercise our right to listen.

There was so much good music, but even more to think about. All I can say is that if you can get a chance to see him and Spearhead perform, grab it.

Together, we can unfuck the world. Yeah!

What lies beneath

Much easier these days to place an image.. I took this pic - it's just a working pic really, thinking of using it for a little brief I'm working on.. i love the surface of water.. almost as obsessed as I am with trees. I took it outside the National Gallery of Victoria on Monday, just before I went to check out the Picasso exhibition.

I love Picasso, for me he is an inspiration. The sheer volume of the work. It's as if he had no inner critic, he just drew and painted and wrote constantly. I really admire his passion. He had so many loves and lovers. I dig that. I'm sure that there were many broken hearts, and much pain. His work seems to feed off that, quite fearlessly.

I hope to channel Picasso a little. To keep on experimenting. To work as an artist all the time, to draw on my life. It's funny, as I write this I find myself self editing. It's natural I guess, but hey, who's judging?

Secondcoming

I have rediscovered some inspiration to blog, having been checking out some of the local blogging talent. It's a great way of getting connected..

So, let's consider this take two.

Today is a new day. Keep on moving.