Stolen: My beloved bike

To the dear person who stole my bike from Ripponlea Train Station sometime between Friday afternoon and Saturday afternoon,

Thank you.
You have no doubt unwittingly done me a great service. Perhaps at the bike shop I will meet the man of my dreams, (and so will he). Perhaps it will be the guy who helps me lodge my insurance claim, or perhaps I will just have a beautiful day selecting a new, sweeter set of wheels and matching helmet. Perhaps I would have been killed or had my legs amputated in a horrific accident had I mounted it, as intended, yesterday on my trip to the shops. Perhaps I was to fall prey to a bikey gang and end up being tortured in a totally un-hot manner.

I wish you all the best, and fear for you that your will need each of my good wishes. I only hope they carry some gravity. For from what I believe about the universe and all that, is that those who steal are destined to be stolen from. Maybe this has already happened.