Art Day becomes Angst Day

My energy was totally fucked up today. I think it might have something to do with the block of chocolate I ate last night.

My days off are precious and I really wanted to do some art stuff, but push never came to shove and so the most creative thing I achieved was the dishes.

I hung out with Tash and we looked at blogs on life in Darfur in Sudan. I think that freaked us out a little. Tash is soon to spend two years there working with refugees. I have to admit that I feel quite ashamed about not really knowing much about what is going on - but basically it is the century's first genocide. And it's happening today, under the same sky that I ate gelati and worried about the rent and what I am doing with my life.

Then I went for a swim. I always notice my breathing when I swim and today it was especially catchy - it took ages to get it nice and even. I feel like going out and getting pissed, and yet I aslo feel like being alone. I'm muddled.

On Tuesday I was full of great inspiration and had loads of ideas about stuff I want to do. Today, somehow, I can't even remember what Tuesday's ideas were all about.

I keep on thinking about energy following thought. Perhaps today's thoughts were so scattered the energy got confused. Tonight I will meditate and hope for better thoughts tomorrow. Or I'll get pissed. Can't decide..